We start the In Your House PPV on a killer not with Sunny in a bikini telling us "viewer discretion is advised!!" We are live from Louisville, KY with our hosts Vince McMahon and Jerry "The King" Lawler.
First up is the Crybaby Match between Razor Ramon and The 1-2-3 Kid where the winner will put a diaper on the loser. The Kid comes to the ring pushing a stroller with a Razor Ramon teddy bear in it. Kid tries to rip the head off of the bear but can't!! HAHA Wimp!! So he throws the bear at Razor. Razor throws his toothpick at him and punches him to the floor.
Kid drop's Razor's throat across the top rope. Kid then gives Razor some kicks in the corner as well as a spinning heel kick. Razor fights back with a clothesline in the corner and then the Fallaway Slam. He goes for the Razor's Edge only for the Kid to roll out of the floor. Kid's manager Ted DiBiase throws some baby powder in Razor's eyes right in front of the referee but no DQ?!?! Sure why not!?!?
Kid hits Razor with a missile dropkick off the top rope for two. Kid puts Razor in a sleeper hold and after almost putting Razor to sleep, Razor fights back and drops Kid crotch-first on the top rope. Razor does his thing taking down the Kid. He put Kid on the top rope for the back superplex, but Kid elbows out of it.
Kid then hits the reverse moonsault that he used to beat Razor the first time ever. However, Razor rolled through the move and picked up Kid. He climbs to the second rope and does a Super Fallaway Slam. Razor sets up for the Razor's Edge. However, DiBiase is distracting Razor and the referee.
The Kid grabs the bottle of baby powder and is about to throw it in Razor's face, but Razor counters by kicking the powder in Kid's face. Razor gives Kid the Razor's Edge and covers him 1-2-but pulls Kid up. He gives Kid a second Razor's Edge for good measure for the 1-2-3. Razor puts the diaper on the Kid and dumps some more baby powder on his face for more embarrassment. The Kid cries and throws a tantrum.
Next up is Hunter Hearst Helmsley with some hot blonde chick named Elizabeth Hilden escorting him to the ring against Duke "The Dumpster" Droese albeit with shorter hair than before. Helmsley attacked Droese a few weeks ago on Superstars and Pedigreed him on Droese's own trash can and then proceeded to cut Droese's long hair.
Droese attacks Helmsley at the start punching him and throwing him around by his long hair. He gets Helmsley in the corner and does the 10-punch corner thing when Helmsley dropped him face-first onto the top turnbuckle. Helmsley goes for the Pedigree but Droese it into a reverse atomic drop. Droese charges at Helmsley but Helmsley backdropped him over the top rope.
Helmsley threw Droese into the steel steps. Jerry Lawler is interviewing Miss Hilden as he is enamored with her. Back in the ring, he nailed Droese with a knee drop for two. Droese puts up a big boot when Helmsley charged at him in the corner. Droese fights back with a spinebuster and then hits him with his finisher the "Trash Compactor."
Great idea let's have a wrestling garbage man yeah that's so cool let me tell you! Droese does not go for the cover. Instead he brings in his trash can and attempts to inflict more punishment on Helmsley. However, the referee tosses the can outside and Helmsley grabbed the trashcan lid and wacks Droese in the head with it for the 1-2-3 and the win.
They show a highlight video of Yokozuna's face turn two weeks ago on Raw. Yokozuna comes out for his match and he's on the microphone and apparently can speak English other than "Banzai!" He mentions how Jim Cornette treated him poorly over the last few years and taking money from him. He also says the only reason Owen Hart won a title was because he hid behind him.
The match between Yokozuna and Davey Boy Smith is on as Yoko attacks Davey but missed an elbow drop. Davey hits him with several clotheslines to knock him off his feet. Cornette hits Yoko in the throat with his tennis racket. Yoko reverses an Irish Whip into the corner and squashes Davey. Yoko goes for the Banzai drop but Cornette pulls Davey out of the ring.
Davey moves out of the way as Yoko tries to splash him into the corner as Yoko hits the ring post. Davey brings Yoko back into the ring and hits him with a flying double ax handle. He covers Yoko as he throws Davey off of him after a two-count. Yoko soon fights back as he gives Davey a Samoan Drop and then a belly-to-belly suplex.
He again goes for the Banzai Drop when Cornette runs into the ring and whacks Yoko with the tennis racket but it has no affect. Yoko goes after Cornette only for Vader, who I thought was suspended?, runs down to beat down Yoko along with Davey. They handcuff Yoko to the ropes and beat him down until officials run in to stop this.
We are shown Intercontinental Champion Goldust with Marlena in the back hanging out the WWF.com area answering your questions. He is fondling the person in charge of this and he's totally getting creeped out.
It's time for Shawn Michaels vs. Owen Hart. Michaels is putting his WrestleMania WWF Title shot on the line to get his hands on Owen, who was bragging that he is the one who nearly ended Shawn's career and will look to do so tonight. Whoever wins this match will face the WWF Champion at WrestleMania.
Michaels is on top of the "house" as he ziplines all the down to the ring as Vince McMahon is having an orgasm. Michaels immediately attacks Owen as Owen was trying to go after him and knocks him to the floor so Shawn can finishing undressing himself.
The match officially starts with the two shoving each other and trading side headlocks and shoulderblocks. Shawn slides underneath Owen and heads to the floor where he high-fives his fans or "The Kliq" all around ringside. Back in the ring, Owen slides out like Shawn and goes to high-five fans but no one does. Michaels climbs the top turnbuckle and delivers a flying crossbody onto the floor.
Michaels hits Owen with a flying double ax handle for two. He put Owen in a side headlock. He throws Michaels into the ropes and hip tosses him. Both men kip up at the same time and Michaels gives Owen a Hurricanarana and punches Owen while on top of him. Owen then hit Michaels with a Belly-to-Belly Suplex and then worked on his back with a back breaker.
Owen hits Shawn with the Rude Awakening reverse neckbreaker for two. He goes for the Sharpshooter but Shawn fights out of it. Owen then gets Shawn in a modified camel clutch and a chinlock. Michaels elbowed out of it but runs into a spinning heel kick from Owen which sends Michaels to the floor.
Shawn counters a suplex attempt by Owen on the apron and sends him to the floor. Michaels jumps onto Owen but Owen countered it into a powerslam on the floor. Back into the ring, Owen nails him with a missile dropkick for two.
Michaels gets whipped into the corner and does his usual upside down bump in the corner to come back into a big clothesline by Owen. Owen puts him into the Sharpshooter, but Michaels manages to fight his way to the ropes to break up the hold. Shawn mounts some offense but Owen stops that nailing him with the Enziguri Kick to send Shawn to the floor. Is that it? Is Shawn's career over?
I would sure love another Bret vs. Owen match at WrestleMania for the title as they had amazing matches at WrestleMania and SummerSlam two years ago. I believe Shawn though is going to be the champion so that cancels that.
I wouldn't hate Shawn vs. Diesel as they had a great match at last year's WrestleMania. I think it is going to be Shawn vs. Bret and obviously that's awesome with the two best wrestlers in the company battling for the title at the premier event.
Owen brings him back into the ring, why he didn't let him stay outside and get counted out I don't know? It's a win it's not a title match it's a match for a title match. Anyway Owen goes for the cover but Shawn kicks out at two. Hey it didn't kill him or end his career. Owen charges at Shawn in the corner only for Michaels to move out of the way.
Shawn gives Owen an inverted atomic drop following by a flying forearm and then kips up!! Shawn gives him another flying forearm. He then goes to the top and hits Owen with a Flying Elbow Drop and is setting up for Sweet Chin Music and going to headline WrestleMania. However, Jim Cornette is on the apron only for Michaels to knock him off the apron.
Michaels goes for Sweet Chin Music only for Owen to duck. Owen then goes for the Enziguri only for Michaels to duck the move. Michaels then hits Owen with Sweet Chin Music for the 1-2-3 and going to WrestleMania to meet the winner of the Bret Hart-Diesel cage match and face him for the title.
This match was one hell of a match and I don't want the feud to be over as this story was excellent and so too was the match, but Shawn looks to be the WWF Champion. Maybe and hopefully he will give Owen a championship match somewhere down the line.
Next we go to Todd Pettingill who has interim WWF President "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. Piper first tells us what we already know that Shawn Michaels is the number one contender to the WWF Championship and will face the winner of tonight's Steel Cage match at WrestleMania. He does say that there must be a legitimate winner at WrestleMania.
Next Piper mentions Vader and says he will be reinstated from his suspension for his attack on WWF President Gorilla Monsoon last month. He then puts Vader in a match with Yokozuna at WrestleMania XII to settle the score between the two giant men.
Jim Cornette and his "lawyer" Clarence Mason come out to confront Piper. Before Cornette can get a word in, Roddy tells him to "Shut up!" and show him some respect. Cornette does not do that and tells Piper than he is afraid of Vader. Piper then says if Vader loses his match to Yokozuna at WrestleMania, Yokozuna will then get his hands on Cornette.
Now it's time for the main event WWF Championship Steel Cage Match between the champion Bret "The Hitman" Hart and the former champion Diesel. The Undertaker will no doubt be involved. A steel cage will not keep the deadman out and prevent him from screwing Diesel out of the WWF Title like Diesel had done to him.
Diesel uses his size and power over Bret to gain the early advantage. Diesel tries to leave the cage but Bret hits him with a shot to the crotch and headbutts his balls. Hart does what Hart always does against Diesel and that's attack his knee. Diesel fights back with the sidewalk slam but misses an elbow drop.
Bret goes right back to the knees. Too bad he can't go outside and do what he did at Survivor Series and tie Diesel's legs up to the ringpost. Diesel reverses Bret sending him hard chest-first into the corner. Diesel then gives Bret several knees in the corner only for Bret to attack Diesel's knee.
Bret climbs up the cage and even gets onto the other side only for Diesel to grab him by the hair and brings him back into the cage, where he sends Bret face-first into the cage. Bret then does another chest-first bump into the corner. Bret is lying on the second rope where Diesel slowly and limps and does his jump on the back of an opponent.
Diesel tries to Snake Eyes Bret but Bret sends him face-first into the steel cage. Bret goes for the Sharpshooter, but Diesel thumbs him in the eyes to get out of it. Bret then attacks Diesel's lower back and gives him the Side Russian Leg Sweep.
Bret climbs the cage only for Diesel to grab his leg, but Bret kicks him down. Hart then hits Diesel with the Flying Elbow Drop. Hart again climbs the cage but Diesel gives him a shot to the nuts. That's not cool for a giant man to hit a smaller man in the nuts.
Diesel then crawls to the cage door where Bret grabs his foot. Diesel kicks him off of him and again goes through the door when all of a sudden, The Undertaker comes from underneath the ring and grabs Diesel's leg and pulls him underneath the ring. Bret is climbing the cage and touches the floor to win the match and retain his title and will face Shawn Michaels in the main event at WrestleMania.
Since Diesel escaped the cage albeit with help from The Undertaker and I assume touched the floor, shouldn't he be the champion? I guess the rules are you must exit through the door or over the top of the cage and going through the ring is not an option.
Diesel comes from under the ring all scared as to what happened. This will no doubt set up their match at WrestleMania. This has probably been the best of the In Your House PPVs so far in my opinion. Can't wait until WrestleMania but that's still a month and a half away.
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