This week's episode of ECW Hardcore TV takes place from the ECW Arena in Philadelphia where we are shown highlights of Cyberslam. We start off with a promo by The Sandman and Missy Hyatt.
The first match is Judge Dredd and Badd Company (Ian and Axl Rotten) taking on Dino Sendoff, Don E. Allen, and the Dirt Bike Kid (sounds like my kind of wrestler given my love of dirt bikes and motocross). The match ends quickly as The Sandman comes in and canes everyone to start the show off.
After the intro is shown, Joey Styles is shown standing in the ring. The lights go out and when they come back on, BRIAN PILLMAN is standing in the ring!!! Pillman fires on Eric Bischoff for firing him from WCW and calling him a piece of shit repeatedly. The fans begin to chant "Bischoff takes it up the ass....DOO DA...DOO DA!" That's awesome!!! Probably takes it from Hulk Hogan and/or Ted Turner.
He then calls the fans "Smart marks" and explains what a mark is as it is each and every one of us fans out there. Pillman then threatens to "pull out his Johnson and urinate in the ring" when all of a sudden Paul Heyman and Tod Gordon come to the ring. They are basically yelling this is not part of the act that Pillman is in fact crazy. Pillman hits Heyman with a "Booker Man" blast like he did to Kevin Sullivan at SuperBrawl.
Heyman yells "Fuck you" to Pillman repeatedly as security is trying to escort Pillman from the building as he is fighting them off. Pillman spits at a fan and the fan swings at him. Pillman ducks and attacks the fan as he is getting arrested and tossed out of the building.
This is the Loose Cannon on steroids as this is much even for ECW!!! Shane Douglas comes to the ring and yells "get that blonde piece of shit out of WCW or I will beat his ass tonight!!" Not only is this the best promo for ECW, it's the best probably in the history of wrestling.
Joey Styles rants on Taz as we are shown Bam Bam Bigelow's debut last week. Taz and Bill Alfonso are in the ring as Fonzie trashes Bigelow and Rey Mysterio Jr. and mentions that this is not the WWF this is ECW. He does love Vince McMahon though for sending him to the Betty Ford Clinic. Taz then says ECW is 'his' promotion.
Mustafa Saed comes out to tell us that New Jack has been arrested down in Atlanta and will be out of action for some time. He says he will take on The Headhunters by himself. Damien Kane comes out with the ultra hot Lady Alexandra and offers Mustafa a job to shine his shoes and dance. Mustafa responds by attacking Kane. The Headhunters come out to attack Mustafa and easily take him out.
Then comes their opponents The Bruise Brothers (Ron and Don Harris) fresh off their stint in the WWF as The Blues Brothers where they beat up Shawn Michaels backstage before leaving. The match basically is a brawl in the crowd. Back in the crowd, one of the Headhunters delivers a moonsault onto one of the Bruise Brothers but the other Bruise Bro gave the other Headhunter a big boot for the win.
Next we shown highlights of the big Triple Dog Collar match between Francine and The Pitbulls against Stevie Richards and The Eliminators. Stevie Stevie-Kicks Francine right at the start of the match to take her out as their bad blood continues as its basically a 3-on-2.
The Pitbulls have Superbombed both members of The Eliminators and then give Stevie a Superbomb/neckbreaker combo allowing Francine to pin Stevie to win the match. The Eliminators attack The Pitbulls after the match and give both Pitbulls Total Elimination and then once again give Francine Total Elimination as well.
The Eliminators cut a promo and then highlights are shown of The Eliminators giving everyone Total Elimination. Bubba Ray Dudley takes on Mr. Hughes in a short match where Big Dick Dudley hits Hughes with his crutch. Bubba then hits Hughes with a splash off the top rope to win the match.
The Pitbulls promise revenge on The Eliminators. Tommy Dreamer and Beulah McGillicutty are in the ring for an interview. Dreamer acknowledges his shoulder was injured from Raven last show. Raven and his Flock (Stevie Richards, Blue Meanie, and Kimona Wanalaya) come to the ring to confront Dreamer.
Raven mentions how in other countries, they cut off body parts as punishment for things such as stealing and lying. Raven then says Dreamer should have his dick cut off and be prepared to "die" for getting his girlfriend pregnant. Shane Douglas and The Bruise Brothers come out to backup Dreamer. Douglas takes Beulah to the back to get her out of harms way.
Just as things could not get worse for Tommy, they do as the Bruise Brothers attack Dreamer from behind and beat him down as they aligned themselves with Raven and his Flock as Raven is always one step ahead of Dreamer. The Bruiser Brothers repeatedly run his dick into the ring post as punishment for what Dreamer did to Raven.
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