Happy New Year everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Monday Night Raw on New Year's Day. They were off last week for Christmas. Since it's New Year's Day, the biggest thing going on New Year's Day not including hangovers is big time College Football Bowl Games.
That's what the theme is of this week's New Year's Day episode of RAW is College Football with a marching band, a football field mat, cheerleaders and a RAW Bowl Queen. There's even Freddie Blassie inspirational speeches before the start of the RAW Bowl. Speaking of New Years, let's hope 1996 will be much better than 1995 was for the WWF.
Vince McMahon narrates a video package for this week's show with a College Football preview-theme. McMahon and Jerry "The King" Lawler, wearing a Cleveland Browns jersey even though they are no longer an NFL team, are our hosts as the show is from Newark, DE.
It's time for the first annual Lipton Brisk Iced Tea WWF RAW Bowl. It is basically a four-team elimination match featuring the WWF Tag Team Champions The Smokin' Gunns, Owen Hart & Yokozuna, Razor Ramon & Savio Vega, and Sycho Sid & The 1-2-3 Kid. Unfortunately, the WWF Tag Team Titles aren't on the line as that would actually make this match cool.
All the team members in the match are wearing football jerseys and referee Earl Hebner is wearing NFL referee gear with a whistle. The rules of the match are a team is eliminated if they are pinned, submit, counted out, or disqualified. Each team is given one time out they can use at any time. You can tag in any wrestler at any time and those tagged in must make physical contact before tagging out.
Brother Love is shown in the back praying for the competitors in the RAW Bowl. As Razor was on his way to the ring, Goldust's usher hands Razor a box of golden flowers, but Razor kicks his ass back to the dressing room. Goldust is shown blowing kisses towards Razor.
McMahon and Lawler go way over the top with all the football puns in this match. Owen starts the match with Bart Gunn. After a short time in the ring, Owen tags in Bart's brother Billy Gunn and both Smokin' Gunns are in. This is part of the rules and they must make physical contact before tagging in someone else.
After both exchange blows they both tag in Owen and Yokozuna and now this tag team is in. Owen doesn't want to fight but Yokozuna wants to go. Owen takes a shoulderblock before quickly tagging in Savio Vega.
Yokozuna takes down Savio and he tags in The 1-2-3 Kid who hits Savio with a spinning heel kick. Jerry Lawler is shown sitting with the RAW Bowl Queen. He asks her what does she think of his Cleveland Browns jersey and she says Brown is her favorite color?!?! Savio soon tags in Razor as he wants the Kid.
He hits Kid with the fallaway slam as the Kid calls timeout. Razor doesn't care and gives Kid the Razor's Edge and covers him but Earl Hebner doesn't count the pin since a timeout was called. Sid hit Razor with a clothesline to the back of Razor's head. Kid covers Razor for the 1-2-3 even though Savio is signalling timeout but Hebner doesn't see it. Idiot, yell timeout!! Razor and Savio are eliminated.
The heels work over Bart until Bart tags in his brother Billy and Billy takes down Owen. The Kid nails Billy in the back of his head with a kick and Owen gives him a neckbreaker. Yoko goes for the Banzai Drop on Billy as Owen is standing over Billy.
However, Bart runs in pulls Billy out of the way and knocks Owen down. Yoko doesn't see this and Banzai Drops his own partner. Bart dropkicks Yoko out of the ring as Billy pins Owen for the 1-2-3 to eliminate Owen and Yoko. Yokozuna was calling timeout but the ref did not see him. This leaves just the Gunns and Sid and the Kid to decide the inaugural RAW Bowl.
Sid beats on Billy as he hits Billy with a clothesline, a big boot, and a leg drop for two. Sid nails him with a Chokeslam. Sid then knocks Bart off the apron as Bart comes in but is stopped by the ref. Both Sid and the Kid double-team Billy.
Sid holds Billy as Kid jumps off the top rope, but Razor Ramon comes out and shoves the Kid off the top rope onto Sid as Billy moves out of the way. Billy pins Sid for the 1-2-3 as the Gunns won the inaugural RAW Bowl just as Eric Bischoff tells everyone on WCW Nitro.
Dok Hendrix is our host for the RAW Bowl halftime show. We go to Jim Ross in the back where he is standing outside of Diesel's dressing room. Ross says Diesel told him he is going to kick King Mabel's ass. Hendrix then spends a minute or so hyping up the upcoming Royal Rumble PPV coming in three weeks.
They show us the Henry O Godwinn vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley Arkansas Hog Pen match from last month's In Your House PPV. Just go back and read my In Your House 5 report about this match.
Next, Diesel takes on King Mabel. Mabel is being carried to the ring as even four men can't lift his fat ass up while we are shown Brother Love is still praying for the RAW Bowl competitors even though it's long been over. Diesel just boots Mabel in the face and pins him for the 1-2-3 in only eight seconds as this is a repeat of him beating Bob Backlund 14 months ago.
After the match, Diesel makes his way over to the announce table where Jerry Lawler is with the RAW Bowl Queen. Diesel grabs the RAW girl and leaves with her much to Lawler's dismay but what the hell can Lawler do about it? Go after Diesel and fight for the woman!!
In the back, the Smokin' Gunns are celebrating their RAW Bowl victory when the Brooklyn Brawler comes up and presents them with the Lombardi Trophy. It's just a trophy with his face, Steve Lombardi get it?, taped to it. They beat Brawler up and pour Lipton Iced Tea all over him.
The first 11 Royal Rumble participants are announced: Diesel, Owen Hart, British Bulldog, Dory Funk Jr. for some reason, Savio Vega, King Mabel, Bam Bam Bigelow, Barry Horowitz, Yokozuna, the returning Tatanka, and making his WWF debut the man they call Vader.
To end the program we are shown a skit called "Billionaire Ted's Wrasslin' Warroom" which mocks Ted Turner, Hulk Hogan, "Macho Man" Randy Savage and WCW in general.
"Billionaire Ted" is trying to figure out how to beat the WWF as he asks "The Huckster" and "The Nacho Man" if they can do any moves like the Razor's Edge, Pearl River Plunge, or the Jackknife Powerbomb which they can't as well as any other high flying moves since they are old and past their prime.
Next week on RAW we are shown the Bret Hart-British Bulldog WWF Championship match from In Your House 5 (parental discretion advised) plus the Shawn Michaels press conference and Jeff Jarrett vs. Hakushi.
No comments:
Post a Comment